Counselling Support - Emotional Awareness

Emotional Regulation

Step 2

We provide tools and information to support you in managing your emotions

Emotional Awareness Tools

Emotional regulation is a vital skill for managing how we respond to challenging emotions. After Step 1, which focuses on releasing emotions (like through deep breathing or physical movement), Step 2 involves problem-solving or reflection. This step helps you process the emotion and find ways to manage or address the situation. In this phase, you might use tools like journaling, asking yourself helpful questions (e.g., "What do I need right now?" or "What can I learn from this experience?"), or practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness can help you observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment, allowing you to make clearer decisions or gain a deeper understanding of the situation. By using these tools, you can create space for reflection, so you're able to approach your emotions with greater calm and clarity, helping you feel more in control and better able to respond in a thoughtful way.

Emotional Wheel
A visual tool that helps you identify and explore a range of emotions, guiding you to uncover secondary feelings and gain a deeper understanding of your emotional experience.
Iceberg Model
A framework to delve beneath surface emotions, uncovering the thoughts, beliefs, and unmet needs that drive your feelings and reactions in relationships and everyday situations.
Mood Tracker
A simple tool to log and monitor your emotions over time, helping you recognize patterns, triggers, and progress in your emotional well-being.
Mind Dump
An activity to release pent-up thoughts and feelings by writing them out freely, creating space for clarity and reducing mental overwhelm.

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The Emotional Wheel

the Emotion Wheel

The emotion wheel is a helpful tool for identifying and understanding your feelings. Often, we experience emotions without fully recognising or naming them, which can leave us feeling stuck or overwhelmed. The emotion wheel organises feelings into core emotions like joy, sadness, anger, and fear, and then expands on these to show a broader range of related emotions. This can help you pinpoint exactly what you’re feeling, even if it’s a mix of emotions. By naming your feelings, you gain clarity, which is the first step to managing them effectively. It also helps you communicate your emotions to others, strengthening your relationships and self-awareness.

Daily Journal Activity

Take a moment to check in with your emotions today.

Step 1 - Stop what you are doing and notice your current emotion from the wheel above.

Step 2 - After identifying your feeling, journal by completing the sentence "I am feeling..." followed by a mind dump of your thoughts.

This simple exercise can enhance self-awareness and emotional clarity. Dive into your emotions and embrace the insights they offer. Start exploring today!

Instructions:

Observe the feelings wheel and select the emotion that resonates with you.
Start with the emotions in the centre and then check to see if any of the other emotions in the same colour match your feelings more than the centre emotion. If you are unable to identify another emotion stick with the centre emotion.
Complete the sentence "I am feeling..." based on your chosen emotion.
Begin journaling by letting your thoughts flow freely.

GET YOUR EMOTIONS LIST HERE

Case Study: Exploring Anger in a Dating Relationship with the Emotional Wheel

Background:
Sarah has been dating Alex for a few months and is starting to notice that small disagreements, like Alex forgetting to text back or canceling plans last minute, leave her feeling unusually angry. These outbursts catch Sarah off guard, and she worries that her reactions might push Alex away.

Using the Emotional Wheel:

Step 1: Identifying the Primary Emotion
Sarah acknowledges that anger is the emotion she feels most strongly in these moments. Using the emotional wheel, she identifies anger as her primary emotion but realises there could be other feelings underneath it.

Step 2: Exploring Secondary Emotions
Looking at the emotional wheel, Sarah notices that anger can be linked to feelings like frustration, insecurity, and hurt. She reflects on her recent arguments with Alex and recognises that her anger often comes from feeling unimportant or uncertain about where she stands in the relationship.

Step 3: Delving Deeper
Sarah digs deeper and connects these feelings to past dating experiences where she felt overlooked or taken for granted. She realises that her strong reactions to Alex’s behaviour might not just be about the present situation but also about her fear of repeating old patterns.

Step 4: Reflecting on Coping Strategies
Sarah evaluates how she typically deals with these emotions. She admits that she often lashes out with comments like, "You never care about my time," or withdraws completely, leaving Alex confused. She decides to experiment with healthier strategies, such as pausing to reflect on her feelings before reacting and sharing her emotions more openly with Alex, e.g., "When you cancel plans, I feel hurt because I was looking forward to spending time together."

Step 5: Integrating Insights into Action
With this new understanding, Sarah starts practicing mindfulness techniques when anger arises, asking herself questions like, "What am I really feeling right now?" and "What do I need from this situation?" She also journals about her feelings to explore them privately before bringing them up with Alex.

When she feels ready, Sarah opens a conversation with Alex about her needs and boundaries, explaining how his actions sometimes trigger feelings of insecurity for her. Alex listens and reassures her, helping them build a stronger, more understanding connection.

Conclusion:
By using the emotional wheel, Sarah identifies and explores the deeper emotions behind her anger. This awareness helps her respond to challenges in her relationship with Alex in a more thoughtful and constructive way, creating opportunities for better communication and emotional intimacy.

ICEBERG ANALOGY

Understanding Emotions with the Iceberg Analogy: Use the attached worksheet to draw your own iceberg here

Building on the Emotional Wheel with the Iceberg Model

Once you've identified your emotions with the emotional wheel, the Iceberg Model helps you dig deeper into what’s beneath the surface. It’s based on the idea that your visible emotions (like anger, frustration, or sadness) are only the “tip of the iceberg.” Beneath the surface lie deeper thoughts, beliefs, memories, and unmet needs that influence how you feel and react.

Here’s how to use the Iceberg Model:

Step 1: Start with the Surface Emotion

Write down the primary emotion you identified with the emotional wheel. For example, Sarah recognised her primary emotion was anger when Alex canceled plans last minute.

Step 2: Ask, “What’s Underneath This Emotion?”

Begin to explore what’s driving this emotion. Use these questions to help you uncover the layers beneath:

What thoughts or beliefs am I holding right now?
Are there any assumptions I’m making about the situation?
Does this remind me of something from my past?

For Sarah, she realises her anger stems from a belief like, “If Alex really cared about me, he’d prioritise our plans.” This belief is tied to her fear of being undervalued, a feeling she’s experienced in past relationships.

Step 3: Identify the Unmet Need

Ask yourself: “What do I need right now that I’m not getting?” This helps you understand the root cause of your emotions. Sarah realises her unmet need is security in her relationship and reassurance that she matters to Alex.

Step 4: Reflect on Patterns

Look for patterns in how you react. Is this a recurring situation? Does it connect to earlier experiences in your life? Sarah recognises that her strong reactions often happen in relationships when she feels unsure of her partner’s commitment.

Step 5: Take Action

Once you’ve uncovered what’s beneath the surface, think about how you can meet your needs or shift unhelpful beliefs.

Sarah decides to challenge her assumption, asking herself: “Is it possible Alex canceled because of something unrelated to me?”
She also plans to communicate her feelings and needs, saying something like, “When plans are canceled last minute, I feel unimportant. Can we find a way to keep communication clearer next time?”

Conclusion

The Iceberg Model complements the emotional wheel by helping you uncover the deeper reasons behind your emotions. It encourages self-awareness and helps you respond to challenges with more clarity, compassion, and constructive action, whether you're addressing your own needs or communicating with others.

MOOD TRACKER

Understanding Emotions with the Iceberg Analogy: Use the attached worksheet to draw your own iceberg here

Imagine emotions as an iceberg. Just like an iceberg, only a small part is visible above the water, while the majority remains hidden beneath. Similarly, what we consciously feel and express is just the tip of the emotional iceberg. Much more lies beneath the surface, waiting to be explored.

Activity:

Step 1: Discovering Hidden Emotions

Recognize Layers: Consider that beneath the surface of what we express openly, there are deeper layers of emotions. Some feelings might be easy to spot, while others may be hidden or suppressed. Take a moment to think about emotions you might not often acknowledge.

Step 2: Reflecting on Hidden Feelings

Digging Deeper: Reflect on how these hidden emotions affect you. Are there specific situations or triggers that bring them out? How do they influence your actions and relationships? By understanding these hidden emotions, you gain insight into yourself and your behaviors.

Step 3: Bringing Hidden Emotions to Light

Shining a Light: Just as sunlight reveals the hidden parts of an iceberg, acknowledging and accepting your hidden emotions can lead to personal growth. Embrace vulnerability as you explore these deeper layers, knowing that understanding all parts of yourself is crucial for emotional well-being.

Step 4: Integration and Action

Incorporate Awareness: Now that you've explored your emotional iceberg, it's time to use this knowledge in your daily life. Practice mindfulness, communicate openly with yourself and others, and be kind to yourself as you navigate your emotions.

Closing:

Thank You for Exploring: We hope this exploration of the iceberg analogy has helped you understand the complexity of emotions. Remember, emotional awareness is a journey, and each step toward understanding yourself brings you closer to living a more fulfilling life.

Mood Tracking: A Guide for Clients

Mood tracking can be a powerful technique for clients who are having difficulty identifying the source of negative emotions. Patterns in moods might be difficult to detect during the hurry of day-to-day life, but they jump out from a completed mood chart.

Instructions:

Download the Weekly Mood Chart: Begin by downloading the Weekly Mood Chart provided here
Carry the Mood Chart for Seven Days: Keep it in a convenient location, such as your purse or wallet, so you can easily access it throughout the day.
Jot Down Notes: In each square of the mood chart, jot down a few notes about your mood. Entries can be as simple as "anxious", "happy", "can't sleep (worrying)", or "neutral". Be honest and specific about how you're feeling in each moment.
Include Daily Activities: It's important to write down a short reminder of what you did each day alongside your mood entries. This will help your understand your emotional patterns and identify potential triggers or stressors.
Reflect on Your Entries: At the end of each day, take a few moments to reflect on your mood entries and daily activities. Notice any patterns or trends that emerge, such as certain activities or situations that consistently affect your mood.
Discuss Your Findings: Bring your completed mood chart to your therapy session, and discuss your findings with your therapist. Together, you can explore the underlying causes of your moods, identify coping strategies, and develop a plan for managing difficult emotions.

Example Entries:

Monday: Anxious (presentation at work), Neutral (evening walk)
Tuesday: Happy (lunch with friends), Stressed (traffic jam)
Wednesday: Can't sleep (worrying about upcoming deadline), Relieved (finished project)
Thursday: Frustrated (miscommunication with partner), Content (time spent reading)

Conclusion:

By tracking your mood and daily activities, you gain valuable insights into your emotional patterns and triggers. This information can empower you to make positive changes in your life and better manage difficult emotions. Remember to be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way. Your therapist is here to support you on your journey towards emotional well-being.

Mind Dump

Activity: Daily Mind Dump for Emotional Awareness

Overview:

For the next two weeks, commit to doing a daily mind dump either in the morning or evening. This simple exercise will help you declutter your mind, gain clarity on your thoughts and feelings, and understand what triggers you in different situations.

Why It Helps:

By regularly taking the time to empty your mind onto paper, you can identify patterns and triggers that may be causing you stress or discomfort. This increased awareness allows you to address these triggers more effectively and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

How to Do It:

Choose a Time: Decide whether you want to do your mind dump in the morning to set intentions for the day ahead or in the evening to reflect on the day's events. Find a time that works best for you and stick to it each day.
Set the Scene: Find a quiet and comfortable space where you can focus without distractions. Keep a notebook or journal handy, or use a digital device if you prefer.
Start with a Trigger: Begin your mind dump by reflecting on a specific trigger that affected you during the previous day. For example, think about moments when your partner raised their voice or when your boss criticized your work.
Express Your Emotions: If you're feeling angry, write down the things you wish you could say. Let yourself vent without holding back. If you're feeling sad, allow yourself to express the emotions you want to feel. Don't censor yourself; let your feelings flow freely onto the page.
Describe the Situation: Write down what happened in the situation that triggered you. Include details like who was involved, what was said or done, and how you felt in that moment.
Explore Your Reactions: Reflect on your emotional response to the trigger. What thoughts went through your mind? How did your body react (e.g., tension, racing heart)? What emotions did you experience (e.g., anger, sadness, fear)?
Empty Your Mind: Once you've explored the trigger in detail, continue your mind dump by writing down anything else that's on your mind. It could be tasks you need to complete, worries or concerns, or ideas and insights that come to you.
Review and Reflect: Take a moment to review what you've written. Notice any common themes or patterns that emerge. Reflect on how you can address these triggers more effectively in the future.
Set Intentions: As you finish your mind dump, set an intention for the day ahead (for morning sessions) or reflect on one thing you're grateful for (for evening sessions). This helps to end the exercise on a positive note.